How to Speak With Confidence and Purpose

So I used to speak on this thing called being fearless, and that's what I shared in that message, was being fearless enough, not lacking fear, but having enough courage where it was the loudest voice in my head, rather than my fear, that position me to say, even though this thing is new, it's uncomfortable, it's unfamiliar, we're going to do it anyway, and we're going to aim for the results that you truly desire.

family, Dr. Sheryl Wood experienced 15 years as a legal secretary before building a million dollar speaking business and she built it from scratch. She grew up in Baltimore projects and started her first company selling t-shirts at Fleet Markets. Today, she's spoken for NASA, the FBI, and the United Nations. She founded SpeakerCon and trains women around the world welcome to ask JBH.

Thank you for having me. It's so wonderful to see you.

Oh yes it is. You know I've admired you for so long and the opportunity to have you virtually in studio and conversation with you is just a thrill for me. Now let me tell you you're you're I mean when I was reading about you I learned so much more than I even knew just from your great reputation. But there's one thing that I want to ask you about right up front in September of 2010 Morgan State University asked you to speak at their women's conference. Now you say that that phone call shifted the trajectory of your life. Take us back to that moment. What happened? And what made you realize speaking with your calling rather than just that one time asked from Morgan State?

Oh, that is absolutely one of my favorite stories to share. I, at the time, was still working a full-time job as a legal secretary in corporate America. It's what I knew how to do. I was good at it and it paid the bills. But I had to admit, I had at a little bit of curiosity about what else could be possible, because as a mom of three, I really wanted to be present and fully engaged in my children's lives. And at the time, working a full-time job, You know, some somebody else was really taking care of my kids because my kids were with someone else in their care for 12 hours a day. So I started this T-shirt business that I call moms are the best. And I was going on the weekends and in the evenings to set up a table at events, conferences, praise shows, networking events to sell these T-shirts. I didn't think T-shirts were going to make me a millionaire. That's the truth. I just figured in order to get something different, I had to do something different. So I did that for about 18 months while still working my full-time job. And it seemed like it was out of the blue. In hindsight, I know that it was divine orchestration. But randomly, I keep this phone call from someone at Morgan State University. And they say, hey, Sherylwood, I wasn't Dr. Sherylwood yet. We heard about your T-shirt business, we love what you're doing in the community, and we're having this conference, a women's conference. We want you to come and speak at the conference and teach other moms in the Baltimore community how to start their own businesses. And Janice, I burst out laughing and I said, well clearly you've dialed the wrong number. If you cannot be looking for me, because I was not a speaker, I didn't consider myself a speaker and I absolutely didn't see that as a part of my trajectory for my life. But I know that sometimes opportunity knocks once and so I just went ahead and said yes. Now when I got there that day September 18th, I was terrified. my heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and I wanted to take my yes back, but I didn't, because now I was already on the agenda, and so I went on that stage, and I just kept telling myself, Cheryl, be the authentic you. Share what you know, don't try to be anything more than what you are, don't try to speak bigger than anything that you know just be authentically you. And when I got on that stage, There was something that happened. There was like, it was like a light switch came on. And I just start pouring out into that room of women and sharing with them why I was there, which was somehow to discover what else was possible for my own life. Even though a part of me felt like I was unqualified and not enough, I showed up anyway. And as I started speaking, midway through the speech, I kind of really became fully present and I looked out into the audience and I could see women taking these copious notes. And for a second, I looked and I said, are they, wait a minute, are they taking notes from my speech? I was in awe and some of them were wiping tears from their face because my story was moving them. And I knew from that day forward, I wanted to do that for the rest of my life because I wanted to be able to make women feel hopeful for the rest of my life and feel like they could do anything they set their minds to.

So that was the beginning, I've got to ask you this, what get more than stay asked you to come speak about and what was it you were sharing just in capsule.

So they left it to me to speak about whatever, however I wanted to frame the presentation, but everything about it was having the courage and being fearless enough to pursue something you've never done before, which for me was being an entrepreneur. I'd never, this was my first time starting a business launching a business and trying to find my way, and they wanted me to share that story so that more moms and women in the community could have the launch something even when you're afraid do it anyway find the courage and you will grow in the process I was very authentic in sharing my own fears about starting my own business and all the reasons why initially I counted myself out and didn't think I was good enough and that I could be successful at it but I did it anyway So I used to speak on this thing called being fearless, and that's what I shared in that message was being fearless enough not not lacking fear, but having enough courage where it was the loudest voice in my head rather than my fear that position me to say even though this thing is new, it's uncomfortable, it's unfamiliar, we're going to do it anyway and we're going to aim for the results that you truly desire. And that's what I shared in that presentation was all the things that I had to press through my fear, my doubt, the hesitation, the what ifs, to start the business, but all the things I was learning about myself by saying yes, eating, even the face of, the being something that was uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

You know, I can just imagine you standing on that stage at Morgan State, which by the way is an incredible institution and for you to be in front of so many people waiting and listening and then to look out and see them absorbing. and responding. That had to be phenomenal. I know that you've had role models in your life, but what of them? I mean, you're a role model for so many, and you expanded that that day on Oregon State stage. Now, one of the role models in your life is your mom. You said your mom never took a day off. She never complained. Dr. Cheryl, what did witnessing her behavior teach you about what you do today and how you're delivering your messages to people? Basically, how are you living her teachings?

Yeah, that's such a great question. My mother was indeed my greatest role model, and I in turn aim to be that for my children. My mom, I watched her, even though we were in poverty, we grew up in an inner city housing project in Baltimore, Maryland, and so life was an easy, but my mom, She always pressed forward anyway. She had this level of tenacity in her spirit, perseverance, determination, discipline, all the good things, even in spite of being in a bad situation. And she approached working the same way. She would pour all of herself into any job she held. She was one of those women that, you know, you have somebody on a job and they have like 500 days of leaving. And you're just like, just take one, take a day off. And she would not take a day off. Especially was so committed to be the best and to being dependable, reliable, and integral, and everything watching her be that way, even though she was paid so little, it instilled in me that anything that I touched. Anything that I put my name on, my brand on, I wanted to follow that same model. I wanted to be integral and I wanted to be trustworthy. And that's how I treat every person that I work with. I feel like it's a gift and an honor for God to entrust them in my hands to say, hey, you get to have a part of their journey and them learning to amplify and own their voice. And so be a good and faithful student over that and make sure that you pour into them, everything good that you have. and do it and have the discipline that's necessary and get up and do it even when you don't feel like doing it. You show up anyway and you show up as the best version of you. So it has served me so well in every part of my life, but especially in my business.

You know, you share that and I think about growing up in Taver and North Carolina. My mom and dad were teaching us some of those same principles and they have definitely been up. Not only a pathway and a foundation for what I've been, I built, they continued to be a guiding light in my life. I think about when you describe how 15 years as a legal secretary had you at some point feeling stuck. You were good at your job, but you said without a college degree, you just didn't see your way up. Now, we both know that God can make a way where there is no way, right? But many, many people know that feeling. When did discontent cease being something to manage and began to be something for you to act on Dr. Cheryl?

You know, I had the privilege of doing this TEDx talk, and my TEDx talk was all about being an angry black woman is a bold thing, not a bad thing. And I think that because oftentimes when we get angry about a situation that we're in, that is when we take action. And that is my truth of my story. I got tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. dropping my kids off at six in the morning, racing against traffic, racing against the clock, and then doing the same thing once I got off work, and trying to rush and get to the kids to pick them up one time, and I just wasn't living. I considered that to be existing. And I remember this one day in particular, I was doing my normal routine, I jumped in the car, it's like almost six a.m. in the morning, My kids at the time were two, three, and five. Yes, two, three, and five. Everybody's been in a car seat and I strapped them all in. I jumped in this in the car and I slammed on that gas, put the car in reverse and all I heard was boom. I ran into the back of my husband's car. I forgot just that quick that he was parked directly behind me and that's because I was on autopilot. I wasn't living, I was existing in life, I was doing the things I had to do, I was going to a job, I didn't love, it didn't nurture my spirit, it didn't make me feel like I was creating legacy or being a model that I wanted to be for my kids, nothing it gets a job, it just was a new season for me, a new season of my life and I wanted different and so I put the car back into park and I remember sitting in that parking lot, that makes me so emotional thinking about it. and tears just streaming down my face because I felt like I was kind of like crying out to God, like there has to be more. It has to be something that will allow me to do what I love, to be the mom I want to be, and also to be able to feel like I'm leaving my imprint in the world. And at the time, I didn't feel like that was happening. So, that is when I became angry. I didn't just become discouraged. I wasn't just sad. I wasn't just disappointed. I was mad. I was like, you know what, I'm smart enough with a without a degree. I am I'm able and I'm worthy enough to be able to create something that I love and I don't have to do all this rat race thing. And that is the thing that really pushed me. to be more tenacious about pursuing even what I didn't know yet but being willing to be curious enough and actually pursue it so that new doors of opportunity could open up that would expose me to what I really was meant to be and meant to do on this earth.

You know, there is a lot in what you just said that is so teaching. One of the things you said is you weren't creating a legacy. You've also said though that a woman's legacy is connected to her voice. Now, I can imagine the feeling you had with three babies backing into your husband's car and going, wow, what if it had been going forward instead of backwards? And the guilt you may have felt for feeling that you want it more, when truth is you had what a lot of people would say enough. When you think about a woman's legacy being connected to her voice, these days there is more noise than ever. Everybody's got a platform, everybody's talking, you're earning a living talking. How does a leader make sure her voice doesn't just add to the noise, but actually commands attention where it matters, where it helps and where it builds.

Oh, it's such a great question. You know, I always approach life and leadership from I never want to be in the sea of sadness. I don't want to be the same as anybody because I wasn't born or created as anybody else. I was to my clients and I consider myself to be just like the Mona Lisa. If I had the opportunity to actually travel to Paris, France, and actually see the Mona Lisa at the Louvre Museum. And there's like a line of people who wait, we wait in line for hours to get a glimpse of this masterpiece, which is a unique, original, priceless one of a kind piece of work. And I believe I'm the same way that I would make God's image. And I'm just like that Mona Lisa. I'm a unique original one of a kind, Chryseless masterpiece, or as my good friend, less brown would say I'm a masterpiece because I'm a piece of the master. And when you believe that really like, And with every fiber in your being, you show up different. And you don't worry about looking to the left or looking to the right to see, oh, well, you know, should I be like her? Do I need to be more like her? Do I need to imitate that perk? I don't have to imitate anybody. I am enough as is. And my lived experiences is what someone else in the world is waiting on me to show up and share. My perspective, what I experience in the way I experienced it, what I've learned from that, the wisdom I've extracted from everything I've been through, is going to be unique to me, but it is going to be the message that someone needs to hear because her story is similar to mine, not the same as mine, but similar to mine. And with eight billion people on the planet as a leader, trust me someone somewhere needs to hear it the way you say it. I could say the same thing, but they're not going to receive it because they need it from your voice. So every woman, every woman leader needs to be sharing her voice. What is it that you've experienced? The trauma and the triumphs, the wounds and the winds, because someone somewhere will hear the way you share the message and they will acknowledge, you know what? I needed to hear that because now I'm not by myself, I'm not the only one going through this experience and it might not be the exact same, but it's similar enough where I can learn something from that person's lessons. And then secondly, typically when people hear us and they hear our message, they realize, wow, if she can maybe I can too. And that's a beautiful powerful space to be in when you own your voice and you share it from a perspective of making your life bigger than yourself, which is how I live. I want my life to be bigger than me. I want someone to say, you know what? I kept going because I heard Dr. Cheryl's story. I got up from that thing that knocked me down because well, if Dr. Cheryl could get up from that thing, maybe I can too. Or if Jan is could get up from that thing. And so when each of us do our part, we own our story, we amplify our voice, then everyone gets the peace that they need that is designed specifically for them to hear specifically from your voice.

You know, that is so true. Still, we've each seen brilliant women get passed over because they didn't sound like the leader in the room. Spectrum them too. So what are the vocal habits and non-verbals that women in high stakes environments need to master Dr. Cheryl? I'm not talking about fitting in. I'm talking about ensuring their seat at the table.

I think number one is to stop discounting yourself and to stop assuming that you don't belong at the table or in the room. And that's important because when you know that you belong in every room that you've been planted in, you show up different in the way that you share your voice. It's not from a place of, well, maybe, or I think It's, it's an assurance and it's a confidence that you have when you share your perspective, when you share your ideas, when you're creatively adding to the conversation. And I can say that firmly because for such a long time, I didn't think I belonged in certain rooms. I would question God, like, well, why would you put me here when I don't feel like I belong? But I had to learn that every room I was planted in, there were two reasons I was there. I was there to gain value from the information that was being shared in the ideas, but I was also there to give value. So when you know that from your core, you stand up a little different, you show up differently. And I think it's important for women leaders to understand that we can't only play in a space of humility when we're sharing our voice. Oh, I was, I was mishumble. My entire life always just humble humble humble and I got to a place where God was put in my ear. I can't elevate you to where I need you to be to bring more women with you with you only being humble because when you're only humble, there's a certain posture that you walk in with. and sometimes it's your head's down a little bit and your shoulders are shrugged over. And so I had to step into powerful and humble. Yeah, I am humble. I've come from humble beginnings. I don't think I'm better than anybody else, but it's also a powerful side of me. And the things that God has allowed me to accomplish and I want other women to know if I can you can. So I had to really shift my posture and when I shift my posture to be in powerfully humble, my conversation is different. The questions are different. The way that I show up and engage with others is different.

Yes, yes, yes. Dr. Mayanjano spoke about that as well. Teaching us that humility doesn't mean that we have to humble ourselves before our work. We can humble yourself before God. And then your shoulders automatically. we'll go into the right place before men. You've done some provocative work reclaiming the idea of the angry black woman. That's a provocative title these days. And it's not always a safe reference these days. You've treated it as not something to apologize for, though. You speak of it in terms of something to channel. So walk us through that Dr. Cheryl. We're not in exactly the the most calm waters around this kind of conversation. How do we take a care to trade that may engender negativity to a one to turn it into strategic fuel as well as not let it burn somebody out in the process.

mm-hmm. I would say it's reclaiming ownership of what the term really represents. Like the world has put their own perception of what an angry black woman looks like and what it means. And most times it is connected to aggression or you're a combative. But for my perspective, it is not that easy. food, yes, and you've got to be shaking your head and your fat, well, that's not what it means for my perspective. It simply means there are times where I tire of certain behaviors and the way I'm treated in the world and certain things that are happening and it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, ignites something inside of me where I am ready to take action because of it. So like you said, I take the anger and I channel it in a different way and I channel it in a way that is here's a thing that's calm, cool, collected and not emotionally charged. And that's how we reclaim ownership of what that means and we use it to to prompt us and catapult us into action, decisive action to say, whatever the wrong is or whatever the challenge is, we don't want this to happen again, which means we've got to take a different stance. And sometimes the, oh, we're disappointed, we're discouraged stance, just doesn't work. That's not enough. But we can still stay in control of our emotions, and still be very angry, yes, about certain things that are happening, but we collect ourselves, We creatively pull together our ideas of how we're going to approach that thing. And again, we fuel that and channel it into action, not just emotions.

You know, you're speaking so much in line with again what my mom taught us growing up. She used to teach us that, you know, anger is cancerous. Yeah, that same energy can be flipped into passion. and it becomes life-giving and she would teach us to make sure we put ourselves in check around how we were fueled or how we were triggered into anger so that we could use those circumstances as we continue to because you're going to continue to encounter these kinds of things you're out your life to help you to be more positive from the jump. You can start to bypass anger, on our own career path to getting somewhere. And I just love that you're teaching this to people from a stage with such profundity, such experience, and, as mom would say, such passion. But if you have to start from zero to day with no credentials, no platform, just your voice and a laptop, what would be your first move to build something sustainable and how sustainable is what you're doing?

The first thing I would do is give power to every experience I've been through and to realize that everything I've been through, every lived experience is transferrable into the next season of my life or the next part of my journey that I don't have to diminish one part of me to step into the next part of me that I claim it all and own it all. giving power to my voice, by giving power to my story, and all of my unique experiences will be the first thing. Number two, I would get very, very clear on my core message in the world. I feel like all of us have four things within us. We have a story that somehow has shaped who we are. We have a message that we can extract. from that story and then we can take that message and turn it into a mission which is what we choose to do with it and how we want to impact others and then we can turn that mission into a movement which means whatever the messaging is in the mission is we can turn that into something that. activates purpose in others and really get people to you a community to rally around that and so I would become very crystal clear on what my core message is that I can turn into a mission and an movement and then I would be consistent in that. The third thing I would do is I would identify go back and clearly identify who is my ideal audience because we've heard this in business if you're talking to everyone, you're talking to no one. So is it that you truly want to impact the most? And I think sometimes I find that the women that I work with when they're initially starting with me and their journey, They feel afraid to say, well, this is the audience that I really want to target. This is my ideal audience because they're afraid they're going to leave money on the table from people that they say are not their audience. And what they have to understand is it's not either or you get to do both and, but you have to speak the language of a core group of people. Just like doctors have a certain language they speak. Lawyers have a certain language they speak. My twin sister is a nurse. They have a language that they speak. You have to speak the language of an ideal group of people who are going to hear you very loud and clear because you're saying it the way that they need to receive it. So you identify that group of people and then they're always going to be some folks outside of that group who also feel like they can learn from you and grow with you. So it's not. omitting anyone. It's simply saying when I speak, whether it's going to be on a stage or on a webinar, if it's on a podcast or I'm writing in a book or I'm sending a newsletter, it's always going to have this tone and this language for this group of people and that's great if other people receive value in that as well, but I'm always going to be speaking directly to this group. And then I would take that, once I know my, I have power in my story in my voice, once I'm clear on my core message, once I have identified who my audience is, then I would create one to two signature talks that I can deliver, whether it's again virtually or in person, so that I am making impact with what I say my messaging is and that of course requires structure to do that and to do it at a level where I consistently deliver it so that I'm masterful in delivering whatever that signature talk is. I would start there if I had to go back and do it all over again or if there was someone who wanted to get into this journey of doing the work that I do, those will be my starting points.

You know, that is so beautiful to hear you say that. As I learned more about her life, I read the Franklin that she had joined a record company who bought her voice was absolutely beautiful but they thought she should message it differently to reach a different audience. And that was not a fine time for her and it was not a building time for her. Once she got back into her own voice and she started to sing to the people from a place that she had been with the people, she just really soared with that population she targeted and then the others identified something about her message that was in their lives and they came to her and I just hear your lesson just now with a Rita's voice to it. You know from who you are, be who you are, very few people and I Don't know who she is, but I think that's because she knew who she was and she's saying from that place And I just love you sharing that so Experientially and Powerfully to my family who are listening right now know your own voice and people will hear you and those who need that message at the time that you're giving it are going to click into it. See, I told you family, Dr. Cheryl is the real deal here. Dr. Cheryl, you know, you said something about abandoned perfectionism and just get started. I think I quote you, I know that's the message I got from you. Now, some people have been burned How do you know when you're being strategic versus just jumping into fire and also not stalling? How do you have work those three?

Boy, is that a loaded question? I didn't give it to you.

I didn't give it to you.

I love it. I love it. It requires me to go back in a reflective space where I come from and I always say the messy middle. Sometimes the messy middle that you go through before you get on the other side. And that's a hard one because sometimes, You know, passion is ignited, and you're exciting, you're enthusing, you're energized, just like I was when I had that first-speaking occasion on September 18, and you want to leap immediately. But sometimes if you leap too soon, it can be more disastrous than it can be supportive of where you really want to go. So in my In my instance I would have loved even when I first started speaking even when I started the T-shirt Because I would have loved to have walked away from my full-time corporate job because ultimately Like I said I wanted to be really fully present and engaged as a mom for my kid I wanted to be in my mind. I wanted to be the mom who was gonna be like holding their hand and we'll be swinging arms going up to the school building I don't know if that ever happened They're like mom drop us the drop us off down the street. You know kids kid But I would have loved to have leaked, you know, immediately. But I knew I still had financial responsibilities to my, to my household. And so the, the question begs to ask, that you have to ask is, am I being, fiscally responsible by just leaping and throwing caution to the wind. So yes, there's a thing of being passionate and fired up and energized about what you want to do, especially when it comes from your core, who you are and what you fill is the calling on your life. But also, I believe in scripture and scripture says that your household is your first ministry. And so I didn't want to be irresponsible in my household while I was trying to pursue something that I didn't know where that was going to lead. So I held on to my job for quite some time. Now that Nick come a fork in the road and I think everybody will experience that. There comes a fork in the road where you have to decide, Okay, is now the time. Have I created an exit strategy? Have I put things into place so that I can leap now? And even if I leap, you know, the fallout, if it doesn't quite go the way that I plan, will not be so disastrous that I can't recover from it. And that's how I played that. You know, I don't think it's ever going to be a perfect situation, a perfect time. for any of us to just leap because leaping requires that you abandon something that you know and that feels safe and secure to most times pursue something that you've never done before. It doesn't feel safe. It doesn't feel secure. So there's going to be a level of some anxiety probably a little bit of fear and doubt, regardless of when you leap. But I do believe that if you are more intentional and you do get to a place where you're creating that the fallout will certainly be less phenomenal than if you do it with no exit strategy.

You are so right on that and over the years, I've met so many people who have powerful skills and their intellect is just oozing. And they've talked to me about, well, JBH, you started this business and blah, blah, blah, you know, I'm ready to start. And when I ask them why, In the past, I've had quite a few say because they hate what they're doing and my advice is being don't start something new because you hate what you're doing, start something new because you're passionate about what you want to do. And I think that there's a little bit of that in your teaching as well, yes?

Oh, absolutely. And even when I started my t-shirt business, again, it wasn't that I thought that the t-shirt business was going to make me a millionaire. I didn't think that or believe that. But my thought process was, Cheryl, you've got to pursue not just money because you could be doing something that makes great money and it just sucks the life out of you and you're not gonna continue on that path. But if you choose something that you're passionate about all in love with motherhood. So passionate about these beautiful three babies that got allowed me to birth after years of infertility that I knew that that love and that passion for that thing for that business that was connected to my love with motherhood would carry me through even when things weren't going the way I thought, even when I felt like I was failing, it would the passion would be the thing that would pick me back up and say, go and try again, go back and do another event, you know, let's tweak this or let's change this so that we can ultimately get to the result that you desire. And that's exactly what happened, you know by all means initially the T-shirt business wasn't quite successful like I would have wanted it to be but I was in hindsight learning so much about being an entrepreneur. I was learning the importance of mastering how I articulate myself when people came to the table and I expressed why was I there and doing that? What was the intention of the brand and the business? What was it that I was ultimately trying to accomplish? And even sometimes hearing the word no, people come and look at the t-shirts and flip through the t-shirts and leave them there and walk away and don't buy anything. And hearing no, and not being crushed so crushed by the word no, that I couldn't continue doing the thing that I knew I was being called to do. So in hindsight, Every part of the journey is necessary, but I just think that we have the passion is a critical part of it because it will lift you up when you've gotten knocked down and it will help you build your resilience muscle when you feel like you have nothing left to give. There's something about That passion that we'll just get you up even when money doesn't because I think all of us probably know people who make great money on a job and Hate the job and don't want to go and call out or walk away from the job So so money is not the end all I think it has to it's a big part of the what we want to accomplish But the passion will lead you to the money.

Yeah, and that passion has to exist in entrepreneurship It just now to now Dr. Show you talked about those tag team years where you were rushing home from work and splitting homework due to what you have from falling into bed exhausted a minute doing it all over again on repeat, but you said you'd realize you were doing your family a disservice but not giving them the best version of yourself. Many of our family listening right now can relate intimately to that. What did it take for you to move to pursuing your dream as something not selfish? that it was actually the more generous thing for you to do.

When I was going to the J-O-B, and again, nothing against jobs. We all have seasons in our lives, and that job helped me to be able to invest in learning and getting coaches and training so that I could step into my entrepreneurial journey fully. So I don't want it to feel like I'm bashing a job. I just was in a new season in my life where I was ready to step into the new version of me. And as long as I stayed on that job where I felt like I was just drowning, drowning in a space where I was giving everything, but they were never going to elevate my title because I didn't have a piece of paper that said I was smart enough or good enough. right, that wasn't a part of my journey. I value educated from very much, but my journey was growing up in poverty and as soon as I graduated high school, I wanted to get out of poverty. Well, for me, that meant going and getting a job. So I didn't have that luxury of getting an Ivy League education. So when I came into the corporate space, it was almost like, They put a cap on who I could become and what I could do. They put a cap on how much money I could make. They put a cap. I thought like everything about who I could be was there was a cap on it. And I just didn't want to live like that in the longer I continued in that space. where I was going to a job that didn't value my intelligence, not just education, but my intelligence, because the two are two different things, education doesn't mean intelligence in vice versa. But the longer I was going there, I felt like my energy was just paying sub-dry in this space where they wouldn't elevate me, they wouldn't promote me, they couldn't grow, there was no path for growth. And I believe in the quote that the thing that's not growing is dying, and I felt like I was dying. So because I felt like that, guess what? I brought home to my husband and my kids. The people I thought were the most important to me. I brought them the worst version of me. The worst part to me. I was tired. I was irritable. I was grouchy. I was, you know, I would treat my kids like I was a sergeant in the military. Okay. When we get in this house, this is what you're going to do. You're going to eat dinner. You're going to get your bath. You're going to do the homework and go to bed. I hate that part of me to the people I say I love the most, but then I would go to work and I would have to put on a smile on the happy face in a place that was really sucking you drive from everything that I want it to present to the world. So when I decided to say yes to pursuing passion. It just started shifting. I started seeing a new version of me and I started experiencing this enlightened version of me that felt more joyful, more happy, more fulfilled, more internally fulfilled. And because of that, that extended to my husband, getting a better version of the wife, my kids getting a better version of mom. And as I continue to do the work that I do, They just, I feel that they've gotten the best of me because I decided to walk away from what felt safe and secure, but did not nurture my spirit into the thing that felt unsafe and unsecure with no security, but just opened up this better version of me that we have all benefited from. I've benefited from it and they've benefited from it.

And I know that everybody who's been within the sound of your voice has benefited from it. As have I during this conversation tomorrow, you'll go to stage and you'll give another speech. You'll talk with people and likely they will line up and want to get signatures and photos or some free advice. While other stand behind them in line, just wanting to get a touch, just wanting to get a touch. Close your eyes for a moment, and if you will, as intimately as you can in this public platform, it's whispered to that young girl you were, that young woman, that legal secretary, who's still figuring out whether she has permission to speak to us what you're saying to her.

Cheryl, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is greatness inside of you that you haven't even witnessed yet, but you will. There is a purpose and a calling on your life that is bigger and grander than anything you've ever experienced. And I need you to give yourself permission to validate that you are worthy, you are capable, you are enough just as you are. Somebody somewhere in the world is waiting to hear your voice, and they're gonna speak stuck until you choose, even in the face of fear, even in the face of not feeling qualified, even in the face of not having some of the things the world says you need, you are enough, and they are going to stay stuck until you decide that you're gonna be courageous enough to press through the fear, press through the doubt and show up anyway. you are going to shine brightly, and you are going to make your life bigger than yourself. And that is going to create a level of joy and fulfillment inside of you that words will never be able to express. But you will feel it because you will know that you are doing the thing that you're called to do and the divine assignment on your life. Now girl, get up and let's go.

Oh, wow girl, I was so in that moment. I became sure, listening to Cheryl. Well, that's so, so beautiful. Oh, I just want to stay in it. But we gotta go for a four doctor, Cheryl. Okay, I'll ask you four questions to which you'll give me four answers. No answers are wrong. And the first one is, you get to host a dinner. What for people from any time in history to date are at your table and why? Hmm.

Okay, first, Janice Bryant, how are we? Because there is no way I would not sit at your feet and sit at the dinner table and just listen to your wisdom about how you built this billion dollar enterprise and just listening to you on this podcast, I could listen to you and your wisdom all day. And hearing you reflect on your mother's wisdom to know that I would get access to that and the wisdom from your lived experiences would be priceless. My second person would have to be our first lady Michelle Obama because to go through the experience of being the first woman of color in that White House and what that experience looked like for eight years and raising children. And staying true to who her mom was the model of her being, and being so graceful and classy and elegant and all the things, I would love to hear how she kept it together even in the face of so much dissent and hate some time in that position. My third person would have to be none other than the phenomenal Oprah Winfrey. I mean, everything that she's accomplished and the way that she has had this massive success for such a long time, the sustainability of it, I would have to take some notes from her. And my number four would have to be someone you mentioned several times in this conversation, Dr. Maya Angelou. I love the way that she used the power of her voice, her tonality, her expressions, her poetry, written word, all those things to really leave her imprint that table will be a powerful table.

Oh my goodness you know what I'd even cook for that table. That's an awesome table. I'd chef for you, Dr. Cheryl. Let's go to the floor. Let's go to the floor. Let's go to the floor. What four pieces of music or artists are you listening to these days and why?

Okay, uh, so number one, Jill Scott, her new album to whom this may concern, there are some lyrics that my sister is dropping on that album that the two songs, pressure and be great. Whoo, just talks about not comparing yourself and choosing to be great regardless of if anybody else thinks that or not, I'm in love with it. My second would be okay ever since the Super Bowl I have to say it. I don't know where that he's saying But I have become obsessed with bad bunny just because it's a vibe and even when you don't know the words The energy that he exudes is passion and I love that My third always on repeat not new but old school India. I read anything India. I read. I'm not my hair I am light strength courage and wisdom all my favorites and number four believe it or not is It is actually an AI-generated musician. Her name is China Styles, and the project was created by an African-American woman named Margaret Bynum, but she has this album called, I Love Me. Those four.

Oh my goodness, that's quite a listening list. I'm gonna have to check out that fourth one you gave. I have not been tipped to that before now. So thank you for it. Dr. Shrull, what four books do you advise our family to read and why?

Alright, my four favorites, Rachel Rogers, her book title is We Should All Be Millionaires, and that one really breaks down money myths, it teaches how to scale and focuses on one of my favorite topics, which is building generational wealth. My second one is actually a good friend of mine. She's been on a lot of my platforms to speak and share with her message with my audience. Her name is Tiffany Allashay. She has a book called Get Good With Money. And she gives you really like a breakdown, a step-by-step system of how to build financial stability. And she targets it in different categories of budgeting and savings and investing and what she calls financial confidence. And my last two, one is by my mentor and friend, Dr. George Fraser, I love his book, click. Tentures for building extraordinary relationships where he talks about building authentic, meaningful, and strategic relationships to grow yourself personally and professionally. And number four would be an oldie but a goodie. I can never get away from the power and impact of this book. Think and grow rich by Dennis Kimbro, where he's talking about all the things I love, mindset, discipline, perseverance, and purpose as you are achieving excellence and building well.

Those are fantastic references and I'm so glad that I have a couple of more ready in my library to us me. I will get the others. So look, full of a four. What four pieces of advice would you give our family listening right now? And why? And Dr. Cheryl, if it was advice shared to you from someone else, please pay homage to the author.

Okay, my first is something that I say to myself every day. So, and my client, so I'll share that. And the piece of advice is, stop creating a to do list and create a to day list. And the reason I say that to myself every day is because life is short and it is precious. My nephew, 19 years young, beautiful, beautiful spirit, big light in the world. In his junior year at Morgan State University in 2020, Got into a motorcycle crash and lost his life. All his dreams, all his hopes, all the stuff wanted to do list no longer matter. The only thing that mattered at that point was what he had already done. So people get so hung up on what they are going to do, what they want to pursue. No, do something today and that's why you'll hear me jokingly, but seriously say every day, somebody's going to get a speech. And if it's not a speech on a big stage, then it might be my Uber driver getting a speech, or the lady at the restaurant serving my food. And if I can't find anybody else, it's going to be my husband and three kids. They're going to sit on the couch and get a speech, because I will not take the best part to me to the grade. So stop creating it to do list and create a to-date list. My second piece of advice would be, Because I'm so passionate about using your voice and the impact of your voice and what it can do for others, be intentional in using your voice not just as a moment, but as a movement. Because moments temporarily can inspire. We can say some really powerful things. And it can motivate people, it can inspire them, it can get them energized. But when you turn it into a movement, when you use your voice to create movements, that transforms lives. It transforms communities, it transforms generations, long after just a temporary feel good moment. So be intentional in using your voice to create a moment, not just a moment, but a movement. My number three would be, and we talk a little bit about this in our conversation, stop waiting for perfection as the prerequisite for you stepping into purpose. It is never going to be the perfect time, the perfect circumstances, the perfect opportunity, the perfect credentials or the perfect level of confidence. Do not wait for perfection to execute, just get started. Less brown always says, you don't have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great. So don't wait for perfect time, just do it and be courageous enough to be okay with things not being perfect as long as it's done in excellence. And my last one number four would be, do not disqualify yourself because you're so busy You already came here when you were birth stamped as pre-approved as equipped and good enough and were the enough So stop waiting on other people to validate that you're good enough to pursue the big goal the big dream to go after what you want to turn the page and write a new chapter to your life You validate yourself and know that you are already fearfully and wonderfully made So you don't need anybody else's permission or validation

Oh my goodness, Doctor, share all those people are gonna be on fire tomorrow. You put me on fire tonight. And thank you for sharing your voice so intimately, so purposefully and so experientially to this family who are listening to you in this moment. You know, you've got me so uplifted right now. I mean you've taught, you've taught, you've taught years and years ago my mom said it is wonderful for you to inspire, it is a it's a imperative that you teach and while have you done that thank you so much come back, come back to I think you made you okay?

Thank you so much. It is such an honor to have this conversation with you. I love the work that you've done. I love the paths that you have blaze, the trails that you have laid before those of us who are coming behind you and have your wisdom and your guidance to support us and what we want to do. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.

Oh my goodness, you do podcast right from my heart to your hotel room. Love, love, love.

Thank you.