I Was the First…

Often, I’ve read about people who are firsts in a myriad of accomplishments…The first man to finish the four minute mile (Roger Bannister)… The first woman to pilot solo across the Atlantic (Amelia Earhart). My recollection is rich with childhood memories of firsts for African Americans, including the first African American woman to lead a television series who was not a maid (Diahann Caroll as ‘”Julia”). Later came the first African American astronaut, Ron McNair, who was a alumnus of my beloved university, NCA&TSU. It is especially interesting and humbling for me to consider that today, I am sometimes referred to as the first African American woman to build a billion dollar business, given one of my sheroes is Madam CJ Walker, (the first African American woman to build a million dollar business). While I don’t know if I am the first as cited, I do believe I am the first woman of any ethnicity from my hometown to build an international business.

As with most entrepreneurs, building my business has not been a lone feat. Many people, wittingly and unwittingly, have supported me along the way. By example, personal encouragement, mentorship and hands-on help, I have been aided. Often I have ‘felt’ alone; but, never have I been alone. Learning my business, as I have sought to teach it to others, I have compiled anecdotes I loosely call ‘Lessons of My Life’. One of the lessons, which I teach and keynote on, is the Lesson of What You Cannot Teach. Quickly, five things I believe you cannot teach are:

1) Common Sense (which isn’t really that common anymore!),

2) Experience,

3) Confidence (which is the marriage of common sense to one’s smartest experiences,

4) Anything to anyone who doesn’t want to learn, and

5) Anything to anyone who already knows everything!

Naturally, I believe that these are the best contributing personal and professional characteristics that I have inverted to accomplish things in my life. Formulaically, combining these characteristics into their most needed manner, and in my most needed moments, is what has helped me in so many growth moments. 1) Keep it simple. Simple doesn’t mean easy, but it does mean ‘take the knots out’. 2) Dare – Gain the experience beyond what’s needed. Go for what’s really dreamed of and wanted. 3) Consider the times you’ve worried and ask yourself, “Did worrying help achieve a different outcome than planning and doing did not? 4) Be passionate to do and learn the things that you don’t know. Work for and hire people who add to your knowledge, not just compliment your ego. 5) Close your eyes and heart to no possibility. All life form has lesson.

These five things were seeded through the common sense, old school approach to child rearing my parents employed. Anything I’ve since learned is simply ‘icing on their cake’. Growing up in the small North Carolina town of Tarboro, my childhood experiences were not limited to geography. Books, television (especially news programs and coverage of the Civil Rights Movement) and my own imagination provided me more vicarious experiences than small-town life offered. My parents were avid fans of education (so often saying, and making us repeat, “Education is Freedom!”). Education in any form, at any time, was their passion for my siblings and me. “What does this teach you?” Was their question for us on every occurrence, misstep or win. “What will this teach you? What are you looking to learn?” Were the ever asked questions offered before granting any request. So skilled were they, that throughout my life and today, I ask myself these questions at every pause:)

Growing up in Tarboro, I felt a part of a closely knit community where everyone knew everyone, and most children obeyed all adults. As I journeyed away and out into the larger America, I began to feel more apart from, than a part of, the communities I planted myself in. My relationship to family and home were (and remain) rich and strong. The experience of walking into new environments has required study and steadiness at every step. Many of my professional occurrences that have publicly been labeled successes, or firsts have, for me, been personal hells. Race and racism, sexism, and all forms of isms have muddied my path. That being, I have refused to change course; rather, suit up, boot up and stay aware. It has been said that ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. While I don’t know if this is true, I do know that facing, even embracing, what I have feared most along my journey til now, has been outstanding to building the ‘character’ for accomplishment which I like to think I have.

As I think on it, some of the most critical decisions I’ve made, to this moment, have included commitment to personal discipline, continuous learning, and maintaining a small, close ‘inner circle’. The decisions to invest in the development of management and analytic technologies, expand into numerous countries and to operate businesses that cover the total workforce solutions spectrum certainly have contributed to the success of my organization, The Act.1 Group. Still, my decision to align community service alongside business leadership has proven to be most enriching to me personally, and I believe, highly enriching to the growth of my family, my company and our business culture.

One of the things I have been deliberate and faithful to is valuing my ‘family first’ roots. As my achievements have been noted, lauded and rewarded over the years, my family have all been excited and happy – namely, because nothing I have done has been without the encouragement, help and prayers of family and friends. Many family members and friends make up the family of The Act.1Group. Key executives in my organization are as valued for their friendship as for their outcomes. The executive teams throughout The Act.1Group are highly talented, community and family oriented and care about each other. We enjoy ‘firsts’, and we enjoy them together! Our company wide motto is ‘Together, We Win!”

This culture of Together We Win is not siloed to my company. We were taught early in life, my siblings and I, that principle of ‘Give a person to fish, you feed them for a day….Teach them to fish, you feed them for life.’ No surprise, then, that mentoring is key to life achievement for me. Paying it forward is not a new concept. As a child, I recall being scolded by my Mother and Father very few times. My siblings referred to me as “Miss Goodie Two Shoes” and “Bookworm”. Still, the one scolding I most often recall is the one my Mother gave me when I was 7 years old. I was feeling particularly emboldened one day and went into the kitchen to treat myself to a biscuit before Daddy arrived home for dinner. In my family, this was a no no. Our family had all meals together. Breakfast and dinner on weekdays, and breakfast, lunch and dinner on weekends. This particular day, I could not resist the smell of my Mother’s biscuits as we awaited Daddy coming home late for dinner. So, I pranced into the kitchen and took one out from under the white kitchen cloth she had covered them with. I laced it with butter and jelly and walked out to our back porch steps to enjoy it. My younger siblings asked me to share and I scuffed them away, telling them to go get their own. They attempted, but Mother caught them before they could manage to climb onto the chair they needed to reach the far back top of her stove. She shooed them back outside, and when Daddy got home, I was called into the house. She and my Father scolded me harshly, not for taking the biscuit so much as for not taking enough to share with the younger ones.

My parents had very few cardinal rules, but key amongst them was the rule of “Take Two because it Takes Two’. Simply put, whatever you do in life, do enough to bless someone besides yourself. “Take two shares, and share. Give two prayers, and care.” Those words are as fresh in my mind today as when my Mother would say them over fifty years ago! My prayer is that I not only continue to remember them, but to also live by them.